What team Taka will NEVER do again
by Alucard the Second
Summary: Even a team of rouge teenage ninja need SOME guidelines. These are things that have caused team Taka to set up some simple rules to keep themselves from tearing each other apart! Crack. Possible multicrossover later. Rated M for safety.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to the first chapter of What Team Taka will NEVER do again! It IS a crack fic though. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this fic except for my own ideas, which can get trippy at times.

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RULE #1: NEVER replace Suigetsu's water with Gatorade! EVER!

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11:00 at night, random-ass area where team Taka is staying for the night

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Sasuke, the almighty avenger, was indulging in one of the rare times he had emotion. As a prank, he had decided to exchange Suigetsu's water with red Gatorade. He wondered if anything abnormal would happen the next day, when he would cut off Suigetsu's arm and hit it with a quick Katon jutsu in order to evaporate the arm, forcing Suigetsu to drink what he thought was his water. What would happen next would be anybody's guess.

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12:00 noon the next day, same location

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Suigetsu woke up the next day, at noon as usual. But what was unusual was the fact that as soon as everyone had packed up and was ready to go, Sasuke cut off his arm and evaporated it with Katon: Gokakyuu no Jutsu, the bastard! In order to get his arm back a VERY pissed off Suigetsu drank some water, but for some reason the water tasted different, like red Gatorade. When he looked at his arm to make sure it had grew back properly, for some reason it was red, and Sasuke was laughing his ass off! "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY ARM! HOLY SHIT, IT EVEN FEELS WEIRD! WHAT DID YOU DO YOU BASTARD? HUH? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY FUCKING WATER?" an INCREDIBLY ANGRY Suigetsu (before I go on, let me tell you just how pissed off Suigetsu was at that moment. Let's just imagine if Juugo was pissed off enough to the point that not even the most overpowered version of any anime character in a fanfic, EVER, would survive, you're about 500,000,000 points short of how pissed off Suigetsu was.). Because of the need to catch his breath, after a short while, Sasuke answered "I kinda replaced your water with red Gatorade, wondering what would happen, but I never IMAGINED it would be this hilarious!"

After hearing that, Suigetsu chased Sasuke around the clearing with Kubikiribocho, planning to behead the last Uchiha.

And… CUT! I hoped you liked it! By the way, the later chapters, I will include more guidelines for team Taka if you want me to. Please review and tell me if you liked it! Be easy on me though, it's my first fic. Flames will be, without a doubt, IGNORED!

This is Alucard the Second, signing out!


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome, one and all, to What Team Taka will NEVER do again, chapter 2! Oh, and will someone please review? I feel lonely. Oh and if you're reading this, this time I've decided to do two or three "rules" a chapter. By the way, if words are underlined, it is a jutsu. If they are in bold, they are either cursed seal second state, or demons.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for my own ideas. LAWYERS BE GONE NO JUTSU!

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Summary of last chapter: NEVER REPLACE SUIGETSU'S WATER! YOU WILL (most likely) DIE A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE DEATH!

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Rule #2: NEVER give Juugo acid. Ever. Bad things happen.

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A random ass canyon where Juugo got injured, about 2:00 in the afternoon

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As team Taka arrived at the designated rendezvous point, where Juugo fought his battle against one of the strange Konoha hunter-nin, who happened to be very powerful, who had suddenly appeared about 2 hours ago. Time flies when you fight, huh? When the team of teenagers got to where Juugo was, they were very surprised to find that not only had Juugo gotten injured, but they had to heal him the civilian way!

About 10 seconds after Karin had administered the general anesthesia, they noticed something was very wrong. But Karin, the resident doctor, said it was normal, except for the fact that he was awake, which Karin said was unusual, but it probably happened because he was a ninja, and a very powerful one at that. But they noticed something was INCREDIBLY wrong when 2 HOURS later, Juugo was still acting strangely, and then Karin said the last words any of them hoped to hear: "I think I gave him my acid instead of the anesthesia." Of course, this was after Juugo had suddenly went stage 2 curse mark and punched Suigetsu in the chest, causing two things to happen. The first was to cause Suigetsu to audibly moan "Why me?", as he had just recovered from the Gatorade Incident, as everyone called it now. The second was to cause this conversation between Juugo and Suigetsu:

Juugo:** STOP CHASING THE BUNNY, SUIGETSU! THE BUNNY MUST LIVE!**

Suigetsu: WHAT THE HELL, MAN! THERE'S NO BUNNY FOR MILES! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Juugo:** THE BUNNY MUST LIVE! THE BUNNY IS GOD! PRAISE THE ALMIGHTY BUNNY!**

Needless to say, team Taka never gave Juugo acid again.

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Rule #3: WHATEVER YOU DO, NEVER APPROACH KARIN DURING HER PERIOD! SHE WILL KILL YOU (unless you're a ninja, and even then it's doubtful you will survive)!

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Random forest clearing, 9:00 in the afternoon

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As team Taka set up for the night, Sasuke went to talk to Karin, who was usually very chatty, but hadn't spoken a word all day. When he got over to her, he suddenly got hit in the gut hard enough to throw a bus about 10 yards. Scared out of his mind, Sasuke Uchiha, the avenger, the last Uchiha, screamed like a little girl and ran away. Puzzled, Suigetsu and Juugo went to investigate what had happened. Going over to Karin, they also got punched in the gut, but with more ferocity. They, too, ran away screaming like little girls, but this time, they were chased by Karin, who was shouting "BRING IT ON BITCHES! I'M ON MY PERIOD AND I'M GOING TO KILL YOU RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

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Well I hoped everyone liked it! I'm sorry the second "rule" was short. I didn't have much in the way of how I incorporated it in the story. Again, sorry about that. Feel free to hit that Review button!

Alucard the Second, signing off!


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